It's all over

It was just barely half a year that I have met with my boy friend, and now he had decided that we are not suitable for each other. I don't understand why, I don't understand how. I don't understand every single thing. I still love him, of course.

Having fun in Thailand

I figured, one of the perks of having with my boy friend is the fact that he runs his own modeling agency. When we were having our so called holiday at Phuket, he was actually shooting for some show for a client there, with some really hunky Thai models. At the end of the day, we ended up with loads of used cloths, from Burbery, cK, and etc. What can you really do with so much cloths? Bi had a great idea, and we set out to the streets of Phuket to look for some cutie faces for our little modeling session. The studio? In our hotel room. It wasn't that hard for us to look for one, we both agreed that this boy would be suitable for us. We tried fitting him into some of the cloths, it fitted well. Just the time as Bi started shooting, and me beside him admiring him, and the boy model that we found. It fitted him well. Our room was way too messy for any good photo shoots from the mess that we did the previous night. Bi pointed the toilet, and then we both grinning with that wacky idea. The Thai boy could not understand English and probably wondering if we were going to rape him. Bi assured him in his fluent Tagalog that we just want to take some pictures, and at the end he will get paid for it as well. The boy comply, and we took a few pictures. The shots turned out to be great, and then we started turning the faucet, wetting the boy. The boy, on the other hand was having fun of his own. He is posing like he was one of those celebrities models. Bi was busy taking pictures, he had not noticed me who was lying on the hotel bed gently rubbing myself already. Things might had gone out of hand, if Bi did not turn around looking back to me to see if I was okay. Everything was fine, except now that Bi had to handle 2 wet boys, and possibly 2 horny boys as well. Did Bi manage to handle both of them? Stay tuned and fine out.

Bitch boy Part 5

Gradually my body relaxed again, but the grimace never faded, and as I surrendered to Adam's will, I began openly sobbing. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," I cried, over and over. "God yes, do it, use me, fuck my hole. Fuck it. Fuck me. Use my ass." Hearing my plea, Adam stepped up the pace of his fucking, and then just when I thought I was the happiest little frat boy slut in the universe, he stepped up his pace again. And again. And again. Jesus, how was it possible he could fuck me that hard? I'd never even fucked a girl that hard before. And yet, there he was, throttling his huge dick in and out of me, seemingly at a hundred miles per hour. Each stroke went fully into me, and came back out. I loved every goddamn second. "Oh fuck yes, do it, fuck me harder, harder, please..." I begged. "Fuck me...ah-h-h...yes, fuck my hole..." Janice, this whole time, was fingering herself. She was transfixed by the image of me getting fucked. She tells me every day that it's the sexiest thing she's ever seen--watching a hot guy like me give up my ass to other men. In between her moans, she managed to say to Adam: "Yeah, I think he likes it! Fuck him hard!" "Fuckin' right he does," Adam grunted, hammering into me extra hard. "Fuckin' hot little frat boy bitch." He was finally fucking me so hard that I couldn't respond in any way other than to simply wail. I felt like a pig on a rotisserie. Adam's long cock filled me up so completely that I knew I had turned some dark corner in my sexual life. I not only loved his cock inside me, I needed it. Adam's cock, any cock. I needed it bad. "Gonna cum in your sweet ass," he muttered, and a half-second later, I felt it. The first jet of sperm went so far inside me that I think I felt it in the back of my throat. This was followed by what felt like a gallon of more precious warmth, gooey and pungent, filling up my whole ass until it started flowing back out. "Oh Jesus, oh fuck," he gasped, clutching my hips on either side to steady himself as he lost control inside my newly-deflowered male cunt. My own dick was likewise ready to burst, and when I felt the waves of his cum spurting subside, I got up on my haunches (carefully keeping Adam's dick inside me) and beat off my last few glorious strokes, screaming in ecstasy as I splattered my third load of spunk all over Janice's legs. She was moaning, too, still reaching the peaks of orgasm at the sight of two hot men enjoying themselves to utterly in front of her. She worked her cunt furiously, and her pussy juices flowed freely all over the bed. I collapsed forward, and Adam also fell forward, his firm chest muscles like a warm cushion against my upper back. He kissed my neck and the back of my ears, telling me sweetly I was the hottest and best guy he'd ever fucked. I wanted to ask him how many guys he'd fucked--I suspected it was many, given his hot looks, his huge cock, his powerful body and his masterful technique--but I figured I'd ask some other time. "So frat boy," Janice said to me when we'd all caught our breaths. "You up for more?" "Hell yes," I said. "What's next?" "More of the same," she said. "I know Adam here has got quite a few more loads left in him. So do I. Nothing gets me off like watching men fuck. So, I want Adam here to fuck your asshole all night long." "Oh yeah." I immediately felt dizzy. What an intoxicating suggestion. "How do you want me, stud?" "Get on your back. That's easiest," he instructed me. Janice grabbed a small box from the desk and moved to the other bed, positioning herself so she could watch us and use her collection of sex toys on her pussy. I obeyed my new master's command, rolling on my back on the sheets, which were drenched at this point with all our loads of cum. I spread like a good bitch, holding up my tan, toned, shapely legs in a tall "V" formation while Adam took his place between them. His cock was rock hard once again, and he screwed the tip of it into my newly hungry male pussy. I couldn't wait to get fucked hard by him again. I looked up soulfully into his dark eyes as he lowered himself over me, sinking that giant torpedo of a dick into me, and at the same time, bringing his tender lips to mine for a deep, erotic kiss. Our tongues played together like hungry lovers, and I lost myself in his embrace as his hips began their churning of his cock inside my ass. Knowing it pleased Janice, I was more than happy to act as slutty as possible for him, even though I was enjoying the feeling of being a slut anyway. It was the start of a beautiful and special relationship for all three of us, but mostly for Janice and me. This was her kink, and I was more than happy to comply. In the following weeks and months, she and I found every different kind of hot stud who was willing to pound my hole for both our pleasure. I took cock after cock and load after load, as she pleasured herself, looking on. But this first night, it was all about Adam. His lovely face. His beautiful kisses. His firm shoulders. I clung to him as he fucked me deep, for what would be the second of five times that night. I needed to feel him on top of me, humping me full of his cock and his cum, over and over again. With one last smile at Janice on the other bed, I shut my eyes and pulled Adam closer to me, relishing the rise and fall of his powerful body over mine, gathering his firm shoulders in my own strong arms and hanging on for dear life.

Bitch boy Part 4

Adam rimmed me good and deep, using both his hands to pull me wide open, and gently lapping with his tongue to loosen me up. As I became more relaxed, I automatically started pushing back at him with my ass, humping his face almost. Girls did this to me sometimes when I was licking their cunts, and now I did it, because Adam was licking mine. Feeling his tongue go deeper and deeper inside me, I attacked Janice's pussy with even more gusto. She was wailing like a banshee now, and I was too, grunting and groaning into her pussy as each deep tongue stroke from Adam up my asshole pushed me deeper into her. Suddenly, all at once, I realized it was going to happen. I wanted it to happen. I wanted to be fucked. "Fuck me." It started as a half-conscious statement, just another grunt, muffled by Janice's pussy. She was cumming in waves now, her tantalizing juices pouring over me, getting all over my face. "Fuck me, fuck me..." I grunted, slowly raising my face from its duties. The more I realized what I was saying, the more I wanted it. I said it louder: "Fuck me, man! Fuck me!" I looked up at Janice, who was smiling at both of us. "I think he's ready," she said. "You sure, man?" came Adam's voice from behind me--actually, under me, between my legs. I was practically crying with desire. "Yeah, fuck me, stud. Oh god man, your tongue feels so good. I wanna feel more up there...fuck it, just fuck me. Please!" I pushed back with my ass, like a good hungry bitch. "I'm begging you, man. Fill me up, fuck my hole. I wanna get your huge cock way up deep inside me." "You got it," he said, rising to his feet on the bed. He aimed his gigantic tool right at my butt. The saliva he'd put there as lube made my hole feel cold and exposed in the evening air of the little room. Then the tip of his cock kissed my asslips, and finding little resistance (his rim job had done the trick) he pushed the head a little ways inside. I didn't feel pain, only the desire for more. So he kept on pushing, more and more of his twelve jock inches disappearing inside me, until finally he bottomed out, and I had his entire bone buried the whole way, deep inside my virgin hole. It felt so beautiful, so perfect, so right. "Fuck me Adam," I mumbled. "So fuckin' good. Oh god, all the way in me. Fuck my frat boy asshole." He let me relish the entirety of his cock for over a minute, and my asshole slowly quit spasming and relaxed around the base of his pole. I took some deep breaths. I was about to get fucked for the first time, by a beautiful jock with a gigantic cock. I wanted to enjoy it, so I shut my eyes and told myself to relax. Janice told me later how beautiful I looked, a sexy frat dude on all fours on her bed, face resting between her legs, hunky chest against her mattress, with my fine ass pushed up high and sexy Adam's rod pushed all the way inside. She started cumming again as soon as she saw Adam pull the whole way out of me and then sink his cock back in again, causing me to raise my head and look at her with a grimace of sexual anguish. I both savored the feeling of being fucked by Adam and was shocked and astonished that it was happening. And the disbelief didn't stop there. I couldn't believe that enormous cock I'd just seen, practically as long as my forearm, was churning in and out of my butthole, over and over. I couldn't believe it was physically possible. I couldn't believe he and Janice had wanted this, and set the whole thing up. How many other unsuspecting frat dudes had they done this to? And most of all, I couldn't believe how much I loved the way it felt. I was totally used by him. I was a pussy-boy, taking Adam's cock and his fuck. I was his bitch.

Bitch boy Part 3

Janice twisted around on the bed then, and gave me an erotic, deep kiss. When our lips parted, she said: "Adam pointed you out a few weeks ago. We both thought you were hot. We hoped you were up for it." "Totally," I said, truthfully. Of course, if they'd approached me directly instead of seducing me the way they did, I would have said: No way! But doing it like this seemed perfect. "So...what's next?" Janice shifted again, onto her back. "Lick my pussy." I hesitated. "But...it's full of..." "Adam's cum. I know. Eat it." Wild. I love eating pussy--with all due modesty, in fact, I was pretty well known for it among some campus girls--so down I went. I smelled it before I tasted it, naturally. There was the familiar scent of girl juices, of course, but layered over that was the unmistakable whiff of something else. It was a smell I only really associated with beating off, since there was no other time when I really encountered it. After a deep breath, I sunk my face in her beautiful snatch and licked my way to heaven. I ate her pussy, and Adam's fresh cum. And so it was that I first ate a load. It was the first time fresh, hot sperm ever made its way inside me. Up until this time, I had always been focused on sending it the other direction. But all that was about to change. I'd gotten only a few minutes into this totally new experience, bent over on all fours between Janice's legs with my tongue going full force, when I was aware of Adam crouching behind me on the bed. What the hell was he thinking? Oh right, now that I'd let him blow me, this was just the next logical step? I pulled out of Janice's pussy and twisted by face to look back at him. "What the hell are you doing, man?" "Nothing bad. You'll see." "You're not fucking my ass, buddy. That's just something that isn't going to happen." "Uh-huh." He looked so beautiful back there, his sexy chest and strong shoulders, his handsome face. "Seriously." His eyes twinkled as he looked down at me, smiling. I felt a flutter inside. Really, what would it feel like? Then he did something amazing: he took his huge dick, which was already rock hard again, and he spanked it a couple of times against my ass. Holy shit. Like I was his bitch, or something. That's something I rarely even do to a girl, unless I know she's kinky and she wants me to dominate her. When I felt Adam's big cock slap against my ass cheeks, and then his shaft press into my crack and against my hole, I felt a rush of...what was it? I felt like I would cum on the spot. Maybe I could be fucked by this stud. Maybe...? "Maybe..." came Janice's tender voice below me. I looked back at her, her sweet features, her splayed, willing female form. She was looking around me, at Adam. "Maybe you should warm him up first, babe." Warm me up? What the hell? But I couldn't really react, because as she said these words, she pulled my face back into her honey hole, and instinctively, I went back to enjoying my meal. I still wondered what the hell Adam was doing back there, though, and I got my answer momentarily. I felt a little more shuffling behind me, and then something wet landed on my asshole. And stayed there. And moved around. Holy shit. Adam was licking my asshole. He had bitch-slapped me with his massive rod, marking his territory, and now he was eating out my ass. My male pussy, as it were. As I did the same to Janice's cunt. I was in shock that another man was doing this to me, just as I had been a short time before, when Adam had given me head. But, just like the head job, this immediately felt good, way too good to pull away.

Gay, safe and sound

Some readers seem worried about me. Thanks for your concern but I am fine. I was never in danger on this trip. I never had thought of the bad things that could happen. Yes, I was at Phuket the day the plane crashed at the airport. My flight was the one before the other plane scheduled to land. It was raining cats and dogs but yes, me and my boy friend arrived safely. My condolences to those that had pass away in the tragedy. We were taken a back by the news on the 17th, which is what delayed our stay in Phuket until we have calmed down. We took the flight back just only this morning. During the stay there, we had been to many places, met many beautiful people and make a lot of love. Maybe those stories later. I am now tired, I want to get a warm bath and fall right at my comfy bed and have a good night's sleep. My boy friend has long gone into dreamland, and it is now my time to join him. Laters.

I have been a naughty boy

I know. I have not been posting lately here; and a good reason behind it. After months of searching, I finally found my lover. He is the most charming person that I have ever met. We chatted a few times on MSN, I got it from a popular networking website. I have never thought that I could find love from there, but I did. The time came when we finally decided to meet. I wanted to do some work on the internet so I choose Starbucks. Since he was staying nearby, and I have not been there for quite some time, I set up the meeting at Starbucks in Great Eastern Mall. I wasn't disappointed that the picture that he posted on the internet was so different than the real person. In fact, I liked the real person more. I must admit that I was so shy to talk to him, that it could made him had a bad impression out of me. So yes, that's it. That is how we met, and the rest are histories.

Sex with colleague, Part 2

Life has been hectic. I do must agree that I ought to be shot for leaving so many people wondering what happened after the exchange of words that faithful day at the stairwell. I continued my lunch that day, without much thinking of what had happened just 5 minutes ago. I ordered myself a plate of fried rice. I scoop a spoonful of that still steaming hot rice into my mouth. I almost choked myself. I did not wanted to eat fried rice the other day, in fact I don't even remembered ordering that or even fancy it. I did not even know how did I ended up in a Malay stall as I always patron the Chinese chicken rice stall across the street. I know that the boy liked the friend rice at this stall, but how did I ended up here, and ordering something like that? Was it my conscience playing tricks on me? I quickly gulp the remaining portion of the rice, and head back towards the office. I went in to his department, in the excuse of making some office, hopefully to catch a glimpse out of him and to make sure everything is alright. I did not see him at his place, his bag that he always bring to work is not at his place. I later found out that he had applied for half day leave while I was gone, and had went back home. I sat at my workstation, staring at the clock. My whole day was rendered unproductive because of that little incident back at the stairwell. The next day I saw him again, at his usual self. I tried to message him on MSN but he wasn't replying. I thought he might have just been busy. I make an excuse for myself to make some coffee hoping to catch a glance at him. He looked away the moment I looked at him, avoiding eye contacts. It has to be my fault that I have cause such uneasiness in between. I hurried with my coffee, only to realized that I have put cold water instead of hot water, and I am sure he know about it too. I messaged him on MSN again. "Did you know that I was so disorientated that I have put cold water instead of hot water? Now my coffee is lumpy." No reply. After almost 5 minutes, my MSN finally showed some activity. "You know, the other day you really hurt my feelings. Why did you even bother msg me now?" "I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared for that kinda questions." "Doesn't mean you have to freak out like that, right?" "Yes, Im sorry." "Do you like me?" Silence. I could not hold back my feelings anymore. "I like you, in fact I had a crush on you the moment you have stepped in to the office." I continued. "I do not know why did I freaked out the other day, but I regret that I had. Is there any way for us to patch up, at least let me do the patching up? Silence again. "Maybe it was my fault that I have asked that kinda questions to you in the first place. Why not we both try to patch things up, and take things easily so we can remain as friends and better yet, as buddies?" "Yeah .. let's just do that." That evening after work, we both finish up all our tasks that day and went for a movie and dinner together. We watched Harry Potter and had our dinner at KLCC. For the very first time, he kissed me on my cheek in the cinema, when Ron kissed Hermione.

Sex with colleague

I remembered my first crush when I was working. It was just a normal company, Chinese owned. Business is as usual and I am there just minding my own work. Then this Malay boy came in for interview. He looked a little like a friend of mine that I know. A week later, he was hired. This Malay boy is actually mixed race, which makes him more interesting. He has got that nice accent of his, but I think he was faking it, or tried to fake it. It doesn't matter, but the way he say things seriously melts my heart. We are in the different department. I am just some nobody data entry working my part time during college holidays. So every time I will make excuse to make some coffee, because then I will be able to see that cute young face. Once a while he would smile at me, and one fine day, we finally spoken. Being the shy me, it is very unusual for me to speak to strangers, especially if that particular stranger is something I had my crush on. From the hi and bye, it turned into longer chats. "How is work", "what work do you do", "how many brothers do you have", "do you have a girl friend" became part of the chat. I remembered the time when I asked him about his girl friend, he give me that cheeky kinda look, as if he was hinting to me that he is not the kind of person that I might think he is. We exchanged MSN after that. Yes, even in the same company, I do not have his MSN. Now my coffee breaks are virtually cut short, since we are already chatting on MSN. I then found out that he is actually bisexual, and have just broke up with his boy friend. Not that he love his boy friend that much, but he is looking into options to look for another one that he can share his feelings to. There is this one day when I went out for lunch, and we bump into each other at the stairs. He was having his smoke break. I gave him a smile and walked down the stairs to go for lunch. He called out my name. "Cedric, can I ask you something?" "Yeh, wassup?" I walked back up, standing in front of him now, waiting for the question that he want to ask me. He think for a while, and asked me. "Do you have a boy friend, Cedric?" "No, can't find. Why ask?" "Well, you know. I am looking for someone that I can share my feelings with, someone that has got the same feelings for me. You have a crush on me right?" For all the while that I was trying to hide my feelings towards him. For everything that I have been trying to do, suddenly my bubble just burst like that. "No, sorry man I got to go for lunch. Lotsa things to continue." Yes, I freaked out. I freaked out in front of him. I left him standing right there and then at the stairs. He was dumb fucked. I could hear how his heart were screaming at himself for being so stupid asking me that question. I can hear how his heart shattered because of what I said.

Back from Thailand

Just touch down to Kuala Lumpur International Airport from a trip from Thailand. I must say it has been quite a while that I have since landed in that nice sweet country. A couple of my friends and I went to this club called Tawan Bar at Surawong Road. Tawan club was well know as being a gay bar, and has got a lot of action in between. It has been raided before, and it seems that the action had died down a bit. Other than that, we had no other places to go, so I thought why not just give it a try. Perhaps a drink would be nice as well. Tawan is somehow a not too loud music kind of bar, besides the expensive drinks. We got there early, at about 9 at night. The show is still not on yet, but we were looking at the muscular boys posing on stage. A lot of them were too pumped up to my liking, but there are some that are medium build with really young looking face which I really liked. One of them was really cute, sweet and mischevious face with some natural looking muscles and a adorable looking bottom. The show started at about 11 when an elderly man was dancing some Thai dance on the stage. They were also doing some S&M movements, dripping candle wax to the cute boy that was had my eye on earlier on. I am not exactly a fan of S&M but my heart felt the pain for a while. Moments later, the show seems to be over when all of them went to the back stage. Just when we thought the short performance was over, four boys wearing boxing helmets started kick boxing started performing on the stage. At the same time, 4 more boys wearing condom came out to the stage and start fucking the first four. The cute boy that I saw, was being fucked by a hunky and rough muscle boy. My heart sank. With the great speed and all, under the strobe light, it seems what they are doing are acrobatic. One of the other fuckees was very cute and seems to enjoy being fucked. There was a number on the 2 boys that I saw, I told the mammassan that I wanted them both. I paid about 700 Baht for them, and took them over for the night. It was a fun night, the boy enjoyed my fuck, as much as I enjoyed him fucking me. It is Thailand, after all.

Porn or personal blog?

I don't like the fact that people are speculating that my blog is a porn blog. No, it was never my intention to make it to one. In fact, I do not even want to publish any pictures that contraband myself as a porn writer. What I write here is my sole experience, something that I could not write in my "other" blog. I believe you people reading this would be mature enough to differentiate between a porn blog, and a 19 y/o kid's blog with full of hormones. There are times when I can only write about this much. Whatever that is running in your mind is strictly up to you. I wish I could control your mind, but the sad reality is I could not. Whatever you want to do with your hands, its up to you too! Unless you are those politicians that has got nothing better to do, than to comment about GT girls being porn models. If you have that sort of thinking, please fuck off my blog, and I am asking you this politely; my blog is of freedom of speech, and invites those who are open minded to join in the comments. A blog is not a blog, when there are not people commenting it.

Shitty feeling

I still can't sleep. Still thinking about the consequences of Chan Lilian plugged my blog. Even earlier when my darling came over to my place, we had not make much love. Reason being, I don't have the mood to do it. I love my boy friend, I really love him much. He really tried to cheer me up, lying down on my half naked body. He tried to hug me, giving me the comfort that I wanted so much; my mind still could not get away from what had happened. I told my dear about the whole story and he assured me that things will die down eventually. I wasn't so convinced. Dear had been a good boy today, kissing me all over, caressing me all over. I love it when he does that to me at night, especially during the time when we are in the raining season. The weather is so darn nice that I would just want to hug him from behind and not want to let go. Dear insist that we relax. He gave a few suggestion. In the mean time, he was making me horny. He hugged me from behind; I could feel that he is getting a boner already. I gave him a grin, and took off his boxers that is everly so sexy. He hugged me so tightly from behind, kissing the back of my neck, and slowly guided his already hard dick into my hole. I could feel the pinch of pain surging into my subconscious mind, turning it into pleasure. I especially love it when I could feel his foreskin caressing my anus, we were once again, two into one. Our love making session lasted till now, from 9 when I lied down on my bed. We are all exhausted but I just could not sleep. I could still feel my dear's love juice inside me, the feeling that I love ever since I have decided that I am a bisexual. Sleep tight my dear, I will join you shortly; after I have think of a way to get rid of these sucky feelings that I have in my mind right now.

Traffic surge

For the past few days, I have been getting average about 100+ hits on this website. Just now, when I look at my traffic again, to see what keywords people are coming to my site, when I saw the traffic numbers are at the high 300+ visitors, I was happy. When I look at the details of these visitors I was devastated; because Chan Lilian have plugged me. You see, the reason why I have kept the blog in such low profile is because I just want somewhere to blog about my "fantasies" and it gives me some sense of belonging. By doing that, not only people know that it is me, I felt pressured! Who knows what is the future of this blog. Of course I want it to be famous, but in the mean time, I do not want people to know it's me. I felt a little uneasy when people are guessing that I am who I am, but then I would just have to deny it, for the sake of well, CedricAng.com. I seriously hope that my dad don't find out about this, then again he hates Chan Lilian's guts to the max and I don't think he will read her blog. I guess I am safe, for now.

Rainy Days

It has been a while since it rained like this. I liked it when it rain, lying down on the bed solemnly; while reading on the last book of Harry Potter, The Deathly Hallows. A cup of nice hot latte beside me, while I slowly imagine my journey in the magical world of Hogwarts. Yes, I have bought the book from Borders. A price that I would pay for then to buy it from the hypermarket, together with all the hype. No pun intended, thought. I am glad to announced that I have finished the book in a day, and I am glad that I have not given up, like any other book that I read. Perhaps it was because I like to read about Harry Potter. Perhaps I liked about how controversial the issue of Daniel Radcliffe, the young magician in Harry Potter movies played in Equus. I liked the fact that Daniel's body is nicely curved and shaped to my likings; but that is not the point here. We all liked fine art, but having lived in Malaysia for almost eternity, it shows me of how closed minded sometimes people in Malaysia can tend to think. We are not talking about liberal families and all, but rather how the general Malaysian's perception when it comes to nudity. Of course, these are then tied to the social ills that we have in the country. The country is trying so hard to tell the world that we are of a good nation; we are an Islamic country. Yet, in school, our text book tells us of unity. Our text book tells us that we are a multinational country, and religion is free for all. Of course, they have not forget to put a point, that Islam is the official religion of the country. Having that said, I think it is ridicules to tell the world, that we are an Islamic country! I read the book May 13, well at least I tried to read it. It talks about the racial behavior and the clashes of "clans" in Malaysia. Come to think of it, I don't call myself racist. In fact, I called the Malaysian Government being a racist, and I can show you some facts that they are. I am the third generation born in Malaysia, a paper with my Malaysian citizenship. I have my rights to vote, and I pay my taxes when due. Yet, the most ironic part of this all, I am not recognised as Bumiputra. Bumiputra translated literally, it means "son of the soil". Seriously, which part of me being born in Malaysia, the third generation, and yet I do not qualify for that title. We often sell in brouchers, telling people that Malaysian is a peaceful country. Oh, but we have got snatch thieves, we have got rapist, we even kill people with plastic bombs. Yes, we are still a peaceful country. Our National Service men don't even know how to properly clean a M16. See? We come in peace. Oh, in case you were searching for Daniel's picture. It's this controversy one. Brought to you by CedricAng.com

Bitchboy Part 2

When I first met Janice, I was the old me. The cocky frat dude, the big man about campus, the life of the party. The guy who would bed down five girls in one week-end and get blowjobs from five more over the course of the next week. Well, that's all still true about me, actually. Except for the part about all the girls. I never figured I was the kind to swing both ways. Janice really brought it out in me. I'm sure none of the guys I hang with would have ever figured me for a fag, either. Including the ones who are... real intimate with me now. I mean, I always noticed the goodlooking guys. They're the competition, right? Not that I ever sweated it that much--like I'm saying, I think I'm pretty hot, myself. Then, a few times, I got a hardon when I'd wrestle my drinking buds at the frat house, or rolling around playing football on the quad. And I had this older cousin who used to suck me off every time I saw him when we were growing up, so I guess I was always pretty open-minded. But nothing could prepare me for life with Janice. It started three years ago. We met at a party, and I thought she was so foxy. I told her my name was Cedric, we flirted for a little while, and even started kissing, but then Adam came over. He's this total jock that the women go crazy for: broad shoulders, hard chest, not much neck, dark hair, etc. I guess Janice had met him at the party before I arrived. He didn't look too happy, and although I've got a good body, this guy could waste me if he wanted, so I started to back off. I tried to excuse myself, but Janice insisted I stay. "Adam doesn't mind, do you, Adam?" she asked sweetly. She was a little bit drunk. Adam still didn't look happy, but I stayed. Janice and I got more drinks and continued talking, and Adam didn't say much. He took the opportunity to scope out some of the other tasty females at the party. Just when I thought he was going to jump ship and leave us alone again, Janice suddenly said to both of us: "You guys both really want to fuck me tonight, don't you?" Adam and I exchanged shocked glances. Then I cracked up laughing, but Adam said in his earnest, dumb-jock way: "Fuck yeah!" "Well, you're in luck. I'm horny, and I like two guys at one time." It took Adam and me a little while to feel comfortable with the idea, but we both wanted into her pants so bad that soon enough, we were following her sweet little ass out of the party and back to her dorm room in the building next door. Once we got to her room, she started pulling both our clothes off. Adam's jersey disappeared first, exposing his well-gymmed chest. I pulled off my own T-shirt. My chest didn't look anything like Adam's but it had a great, sleek build to it, and more hair. I think Janice appreciated the contrast, as she ran each of her hands up and down our chests simultaneously, looking us in the eyes. Then Janice undid her own jeans and started to pull them down. She lost her balance, and fell on her back on the bed, drunk and laughing. Adam, not missing a cue, immediately dropped to his knees on the floor and helped her get those tight jeans the rest of the way off. She wore these sexy black panties, and Adam's handsome face disappeared into her crotch, eating her steaming pussy through the underwear. I yanked down my shorts and knelt on the bed, so that Janice could take my cock in her mouth. As I had expected, she gave a fantastic blowjob. In fact I was just about to cum when she announced: "Cedric, I want you to fuck me first. Do it now!" A half-second later I was pushing my new friend Adam aside and mounting Janice's hot snatch, burying my thick 18-year-old bone into her in one deep thrust. Adam's saliva had loosened her nicely. She moaned and grabbed my slim hips as I started banging her rapid-fire. I wanted to hold off cumming but her blowjob had gotten me so close, it was only a minute or two before I was dumping my load into her sweet pussy. After I was done, I could tell from her breathing that she wanted more. She wanted to do us both, rapid fire, in quick succession. No problem at all. As Adam took my place between Janice's legs, I went over to her roommate's bed and fell back on it, lazily pulling on my spent dick, hoping that once Adam was done I might take another shot. Needless to say, my hardon returned almost immediately. It was a few minutes into watching their fuck that I started to realize what was turning me on the most--not just the beautiful Janice lying there in ecstasy, moaning for more, but also Adam himself, the stereotypical hot jock stud, fucking the hell out of this hot girl he'd only just met at a party a few hours before. I'd caught a few guys from my frat fucking their girls before, but it wasn't like this. Adam's hard, muscular ass was like an icon of male perfection as it rose and sank rapidly between Janice's thighs. I glimpsed his dick, a foot-long monster of a thing that looked like it could totally tear her apart. And the rest of his strong body, his flexing arms supporting his massive torso as he hovered over her, his handsome face sweating and grimacing from erotic exertion. I was ready to pop a nut just watching this hot guy go at it, as he fucked the hell out of the girl into whom I'd just shot my load. As I beat off watching Adam, I looked down and saw Janice looking directly at me, smiling. She was in a state of bliss from the expert pounding she was getting from Adam the jock, but her smile said even more. "Come over here," she said, motioning me back to their bed. I obeyed, and she took my hard cock in her free hand and pumped it up and down, continuing breathlessly: "Oh god, this cock felt so good inside me just now, Cedric. Just now, when you were fucking me. I want you to put it in my hole again when Adam's done. I want to feel his huge cock shoot off inside my pussy, and then I want yours inside me again!" I wasn't going to argue with her intentions. I only hoped I could hold off from cumming again before Adam was done with his fuck. "Then quit pulling on it," I told her, out of breath. "I wanna cum in you." But she couldn't seem to let go of my hard eight inches. In fact, she pulled me closer to her and took my dick in her mouth again. Oh sweet god, she gave the best, most marvelous head I'd ever gotten. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. Every stroke I made in and out of her mouth was heaven. She'd take me in for a few long sucks, then pull all the way out and run her tongue over the head, just to keep me on edge. I eventually started to notice she was pulling my cock in a slightly different direction, and was shocked to look down and see that it wasn't just Janice giving me this treatment. She was feeding my fat cock to Adam as well! As the jock hunk continued pounding his foot-long slab of flesh in and out of this hot girl's pussy, he was also sucking my cock, repeating the same pattern Janice had started with. She'd let him take a few sucks, and lick around the tip, and then she'd do the same as Adam kissed around her face and neck. "Whoa!" I cried out, but I made no move to step away. This was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. Adam was totally casual about it. I finally figured out that he and she had probably done this before, and so they had singled me out to recruit into their hot bi action. I got off knowing that this total stud was fucking the same girl as me, and at the same exact time, was feeding my rock-hard fratboy dick into his hungry mouth. Adam gave head just as sweet as Janice, if not better. After I realized this, Janice let him take over, and went back to simply leaning back and moaning as Adam's jock body pounced up and down on her petite, gorgeous nympho frame. I was transfixed with the sight of my cock moving in and out of this hot jock's lips. He slobbered up and down my pole, running his tongue over the ridges underneath the head, bringing me closer and closer to shooting off. Finally, I couldn't hold back any more, and my second load of the evening coursed through my entire body. I shot my wad into Adam's mouth, and he swallowed it all. At the taste of my hot seed, Adam lost control in Janice's pussy, and he grunted as his own load shot out of his mammoth dick to make its way inside her. As he came, he fondled her pert breasts, and I could tell by Janice's moans that she was having an orgasm, as well. Adam continued heaving in and out of her until he'd totally spent his shot. Then he fell forward onto her, still holding my dick, and he leaned toward me once again to gobble the last few drops of sperm of my shaft and dickhead before they relaxed together. "Fuck," I said to them. "That was hot." I felt a little awkward, just standing there as they coiled in post-coital happiness. Then Adam looked up at me, and smiled. "Join us," he said. So I crawled onto the bed with them, lying between their warm, sweaty bodies, facing Janice. We all hugged a bit, and as I ran my hands up and down Janice's sexy body, over her breasts, her slim hips, and her perfect skin--I felt Adam's rough hands doing the same for me. He caressed my chest muscles first, then worked his way gently down to my legs and spent cock. I shuddered a few times as he did this, but it was fantastic. My body thrilled at his touch. Even counting the blowjobs I got from my cousin, I had never been touched by a man this way. It was like nothing I'd ever felt. "You feeling weird yet, man?" he asked. I was quiet a moment before responding. "Yeah, a little." "Feels good, though?" "Fuck yeah." "Good."

Bitchboy

Last night was typical for me. I was at a party off-campus with some of my frat brothers, where we had been promised some easy tail from some fine-looking ladies from the other college nearby. But we got there late, and most of the hot ones had already been snatched up (so to speak). So we took the party into our own hands. My buddies introduced the mostly male crowd to my "special talents"...and for the rest of the evening, I was on my knees in one of the back bedrooms, choking down big dicks as I took one hot cock after another right up by young, muscled hungry boy chute. Between the guys who came in my mouth and the guys who waited to shoot up my ass, I figure I took around thirty or thirty-five hot loads of cum. I'm a hot-looking cocky frat dude, totally bi, who simply loves givin' it to the women and takin' it from the men. Over my first year in college (so far) I'm gotten my fine ass pumped full of seed by hundreds of guys from nearly every frat on campus, not to mention plenty of the non-frat male population as well, including my fair share of athletes, grad students, and profs. When that isn't enough, I go to parties like the one last night and whore out my hole for the other hot young bucks who go to other colleges or else just live nearby. And let me tell you, I fuckin' love it. Once I get going, I can't get enough dick in my ass. Most guys (and women) tell me I've got the sweetest body they've ever fucked. I've worked out steadily since 10th grade, and I still work out every day--in fact I get a lot of my action lately from the studs I meet in the weight room and lockerroom at the on-campus gym. I don't have such a big frame, but what I do have carries me well. My shoulders and broad and my pecs stretch across them nice an tight, sticking out into my T-shirt like two little pillows. I have a trim waist (I buy the size 28 2Xist briefs and jocks) and my finest asset, so to speak, is my tight, cute little bubble butt. I'm hangin' a good fat six inches for the guys and ladies who want to make use of that. But most often, my perky frat ass is the business end of my tight, perfect young little bod. After a few years' practice, I'm proud to say it can take dicks of any size. And believe me--I've put that claim to the test many times. You wouldn't believe how some of these college boys are hung! I haven't seen dicks that big before, unless you count donkeys. The bigger the better, for me. So you can imagine the power of lust that comes over these dudes when they see my ass in the air at frat parties or wherever, two hot little globes sticking out of my jock or else naked in the air, waiting for them to fill me up. If others have cum before them they will see the trail of man slime leaking out of my hole and down my runner's legs. That's when I like it best--when I've been well-fucked by my first few, I can feel the evidence inside me and pouring out, and I see the looks on the faces of the hard, wide-eyed studs who are all lining up to take their turn. I can get fucked long into the night, which makes these parties really fun. And in all of this, there is a special person, with whom I have a special relationship, and who plays a very special role. Her name is Janice, and she is the sweetest, hottest, sexiest and most uninhibited young lady I have ever had the pleasure to know, or will probably ever know. I started messing with boys because, basically, she told me to. Never in my life had I even considered it. I guess love makes us do funny things.

Last year in secondary school

I am going to relate my experience in secondary school. When I was in my final year, we had a new gym teacher. His name was Harry. He is this guai lou, from the US, I think. He was in my school for two years under some exchange programme. And he was nearing the end of his contract with my school. Harry was very athletic. Everyone knows that he was very interested in all kinds of sports. On one occasion, the whole school was gathered in the school hall for some concert put up by students. My class had put up a performance too. After the performance, when we were leaving the school hall, Harry came up to me. I asked him how the performance was. Harry told me that my class had performed well in the concert and asked me when I was going to perform for him. Although I realized that statement had some sexual connotation, I just smiled and told him that I could do it anytime. Immediately Harry asked me if I would like to have lunch with him. I agreed and went with him. We were in the school canteen having food and talking about anything under the sun. What started off as lunch lasted till tea-break. By then, the school was empty except for a few care takers. He invited me to his office to show me some of his old photographs that he had taken in his hometown. Both of us went up to his room. Harry's office was rather big. He had his own shower room ('cause he was a gym teacher and constantly needed to shower himself). Once we were in his office, Harry closed and locked his door. He told me that he was going to take a shower and that in the mean time I could go through some magazines that were forbidden here. The magazines that he was refering to were all gay stuff. There were explict pictures of guys with enormous dicks, guys cumming, penetration etc. You name it, you have it. While I was leaving through the pages of the magazines, my dick started to take a life of its own. I just couldn't help it. It probably felt like a trapped animal in a cage. It was dying to be freed. But what could I do? At that very moment Harry came out of the shower clad only in a big white towel. His tanned body practically glowed aginst the white towel. I couldn't help it but steal occassional glances at him. Droplets of water were still dripping from his hair. He just looked at me without saying anything. I could lie about how horny I was feeling at that point of time; but that was only waist up. Below my waist, I was definitly hard and it showed against my school uniform. I tired covering it with a magazine but Harry had noticed. He came over and with a smile asked me if I wanted to touch his dick. Of course I wanted to. I just gave him a sheepish grin and nodded my head. He told me to go ahead and just stood there without doing anything. I would have prefered him to initiate it, but he wanted me to. So I did. While still sitting, I parted his towel and out sprang his 9" glory; all hard and moist and completely ready to be sucked. I undid his towel and it fell onto the floor. Harry clasped my face with both his hands and made me rise. Standing so close to Harry with his dick brushing against mine.....it felt soooooo good. Harry started kissing me. He started kissing like I've never been kissed before. He parted my lips with his tongue and explored the inside of my mouth with his tongue. I closed my eyes. Was I dreaming? Here I was with my gym teacher having one hell of a great time! He started unbuttoning my school uniform. It was more like ripping my cothes off. I started assisting him with the process. Now, completely naked, I stood in front of him waiting to be....I just didn't know! Harry pushed me aginst the wall. He placed his hands over my shoulders against the wall. I was trapped. He started getting extremely close. So much so that I could hear him breathe, I could feel his breath. Have you ever smelled a man who has just got out of shower? Well, that's how Harry smelled. A distinctively clean smell. And this mixed with the smell of tobacco (he was a smoker). The mixture of the two smells really made me hard. Our dicks were dissipiating so much heat and we felt the heat against each other. Harry cupped my right ear lope with his soft lips. I simply melted. "I want to fuck you", he whispered in his husky voice. Then he continued, "Do you want me to fuck you real hard?". All I could manage was a small "yes". Yet again it came as a moan. I felt Harry's right hand on my back. His fingers were moving down my back.......with his other hand, he brought my head closer to his........his hand had just traced the contours of my back and were about to touch my ass.......our lips met again, our tongues expored again..........I felt him squeeeeeeezing my butt (or cheeks) and then I felt a sharp pain. A pain so sharp that I volunteerily fell forward onto Harry. Harry had just made an attempt to finger me. My small shriek (or groan) must have been a turn-on for Harry. He just turned me around and made me bend over. He was in control. He spread my cheeks. I felt him......., hot and moist, at my rear entrance. Harry started thrusting slowly.....I felt a sharp pain.....he was gentle and retreated and then came in again......the pain returned....I felt him inside me again but not totally inside......I couldn't take it. I moved away. I told Harry I couldn't do it because it was painful. He tried coercing me into it again but I was firm. My gym teacher being a gentleman, just patted me on my shoulder and went into the shower again with his towel. I got dressed and left. I do not know why I left that day. Reflecting on that incident, I think the pain I felt was more due to guilt than physical. Anyway, I've always replayed that moment everyday when I'm in private. I've always created new endings to that incident. It has always made me hard. I never did discuss that incident with anyone after that. As for Harry, he is now back in his country still coaching high school boys. Ironical isn't it? How he makes boys physically strongly but yet weak in their knees......or maybe it was just my experience. We are still in touch though via email.

An appology

I must apologize for this. The reason I am denying that this blog belongs to me, is because my dad and cousin is visiting this blog. Now that they are off the coast, I guess it is safer. I am sure it will hit many bystanders, and lots of confusion. Sometimes, if I don't like it, I just do not want to admit anything. For once and all, here is the deal about the hack and etc. Yes, there was a hack, the hack was done by this guy call Starwing. I emailed him for his help, after getting a little clue here and there that it was him that did it. He says he was targeting Chan Lilian, and I was just the collateral damage. Anyways, he hacked my personal domain, cedricang.com and my email and everything. I have managed to recover my hosting and my personal domain. When I created cedricang.cc and goodboysgonebad.com, I did not think of getting the .com back, or how. Now that my dad and cousin are not visiting this blog anymore, I guess it is safer to declare that I have full control back on my blog. Since I have not spoken with Lilian (yala she angry me for no reason) so I got to host this on Blogspot. For what it is worth, I will continue deny that this blog belongs to me, and to certain some people, enjoy reading the secrets of me.

Malaysian Bloggers Meet

I wonder how big the head needs to be, the be able to wear a self proclaim title like that. The event was not too bad, alcohol was scarse though. What can I say? Bad good, bad organiser, good company and good sista. No wonder till date not many people blogged about it yet.

Going down to Kuala Lumpur

As I am typing this entry, I am packing my bags getting ready to go to the blogger meet in KL. It will be at Friendster Cafe, in Damansara something. I see you guys there okay ? Bye bye Details here

Cherating Beach Holiday: The Shadow

At the corner of my eyes, I could still see the shadow. Quickly I "disengaged" from dear, and told him that we were being watched. Immediately we got worried. We had left the glass door opened before we went to bed, and then now someone is peeping at our love making session. The unintentional intruder must have noticed our anxiety, just when me and dear dear panicked, he came out from the bushes, and greeted us. It was a friend of ours that had tagged along with us in our car that is saying next door. He was hungry and he tried to call our phones but it seems that we had put it into silent mode. He did not know which room we were in, so he went walking around the hotel and heard my moaning through the opened glass door *SHY*. Now, Gary is not gay like me and dear. He is more like a confused boy. I would not say that he is handsome or what, but more with a pleasant boyish look. Not too tall and with a nicely build body, he looked like a perfect boy coming of age. Dear gave me a hiss and winked at me. I immediately knew what he was thinking. I am his dear what! Still stalk naked, dear grabbed Gary's hand, and I in turn push Gary to the bed. We pinned him down good. Gary gave a lot of resistance, but I guess being held by two horny guys, and for disturbing their love making session, it was a not too bad price to pay. We forcefully took off Gary's shirt and pants, it took us quite some effort, but I must say it was worth it. Gary has already build up a huge boner, I guess he must have been fantasizing this in his dream or something. *HEHEHEHE* We licked his already hard cock, taking turns to work his cock out. Kissing dear dear in the process. Gary got really high and that is when we release him. He seems to like it, and put his hand to dear's head and mine, combing our hair with his fingers. I crawl up to his nipple, gave it a light kiss. Gary seems to like that as well as he gave a slight moan when I did. I licked his nipple and then bite it a little with his teeth. He squirm a little. I guess he has not got used to it yet. While I was licking Gary, I felt dear's hand on my hip. I raised myself up a little, and let him enter me from the back. I love doggy style. I positioned myself with Gary's cock, and started to suck him and my dear slowly pick up his rhythm from the back. Out of the sudden, I felt Gary's body tensed up, then the rush of boy juice filled my mouth cavity. I quickly lift my head up, and spit it all out. I scolded Gary, "idiot, cannot tell first is it?" Gary blushed and apologize, saying that my blow job was too good to be true. Dear then joked about having to taste some of the untasted Gary juice. I gave dear a little squeeze on the butt while dear is still making love to me. I got tired of kneeling down, I signaled to dear we both went on our side with him at the back. He hugged me from the back, and whispered to me something which I cannot understand at that time. Gary in turn, went down to my cock and started sucking me after some persuasion from dear and me. We were in that position for about 30 minutes, when I felt my anal opening feeling something warm and wet. Dear had just cum his boy juice inside me, it felt so nice. I made dear leave his still hard dick inside me, while he masturbated me. I cum into Gary's mouth. We clean up after that, Gary still with some cum "aftertaste" gave me a kiss on the lips, and whispered me to and say thanks. Glad I got another cute boy to play with now, if dear dear is too busy to come look for me next ti,e.

Cherating Beach Holidays Part 2

* This post contains explicit content about 2 consent bisexual males. Please do not proceed if you do not wish to view or underaged. We know you will anyways. * So both of us were lying on the bed, me on my dear dear's chest. I got woken up when dear dear made a sudden movement. The sky on the outside begins to get dark. We had totally forgot about the time. We were still stalk naked, like the day we were first born. The watch on my wrist shows that it is 5 minutes past 7. We can hear the wind blowing against the trees, and the sound of the waves rushing to the beach. I slept there on dear dear's chest. Not wanting to leave my dearest. His slow breath blow through my hair. I hug him closer, and he moved a little. I was thinking of something, I cannot remember, then I started licking my bf's nipple. Working slowly down his tummy, to his naval. I went straight again to lick on his still flaccid dick. The smell of the body bath that we used earlier is still covering his soft skin. His dick slowly grow into a full 6 inch in my mouth. I felt his hand on my head, combing my hair with his fingers. I guess I must have woke him up. He moan a little when I tried to put his full thing inside my mouth. I came back up again, and give him a peck on his lips. He smiled to me and said, "Naughty boy". He was already hard, I hold on to him, give him a lick on his nipple, then I bend down again giving him another suck on his dick. He pulled my hip towards him, giving me a nice lick on my already hard cock. He started to put my whole dick inside his mouth, licking my balls once a while. I got really high and had to stop sucking my dear dear. Dear dear push my head towards his cock, instructing me to suck him. He said to make it wet, and really wet. I could imagine what he would want to do. I started sucking him, concentrading on his glands, and licking his balls once a while. I could taste some pre-cum of dear oozing out slowly from the piss hole and it tasted sweeter than ever. He pulled me back, face to face. Giving me a really passionate kiss. I alighed my love hole with dear's cock, and slowly sit on it. Slowly it went in. With lips still attached together, dear dear gave it a little push, and it went in all. It felt heavenly. Dear pushed my chest up. I started to pump his cock by moving up and down, his cock went in to me deep and hard, I started to moan really loudly before I noticed a shadow at the window facing the beach shined by the dim lights; I panicked...

Cherating Beach Holidays

I need a break from all these shits that is happening to me right now. With all the mental disturbance, I seriously need to take a dip in the ocean. Speaking of the beach, I remembered there was once me and my boy friend went to Cherating. Without my parent's knowledge of course. Dear took the high way from KL to Kuantan using the new highway. I had to take a bus to KL first, to meet up with him. When we reach, we were greeted warmly by the receiption there. With a free complimentary drink for each of us. We were guided to our room after dear dear have gave his identifications. It was supposed to be a beach facing room and all. It turns out the be a beach facing suite. The decoration of the room is fantastic and I wish I had taken pictures of it. The next thing I like is the bathroom. It was equipted with 2 toilet bowls, a huge bath tub and the mirror, OMG is so huge! Dear dear and me could easily fit into the bath tub with no problems. We took a soak in the bath tub, and both of us got really horny from it. We came out from the tub and dried outselves. Jump on straight to the big comfy bed. Dear dear was naughty, he bend over to his luggage bag and took out a bottle of lube. I guess he must have prepared it for a few weeks already. He put it aside the bed, and he said he was tired. I was like .. WTF WEI !!! I tried to protest, but dear dear continue lying down on the bed motionless. I guess he must have been tired from all the driving and all. I gave dear dear a light kiss on the lips, and he responded back. I lie down on his naked chest following the rhythm of his breathing. I give his nipple a light kiss. His hand around my head, running through my hair in sign of approval. Light breeze blew in to the room from the beach, the glass door was left open previously.

The Reality

STRAIGHT PEOPLE - TRY THIS. Imagine you have a deep dark secret. It can be anything, it doesnt matter. Now imagine that if you told people this secret you would be ridiculed, hated, looked at like you are a freak. Imagine how badly you want to tell someone your secret. Imagine your fear of a persons reaction if you tell them your secret. Imagine you tell someone the secret, but it leaks out and soon everyone knows. Imagine people whispering and pointing at you as you walk down the hall. Imgine people staring at you as if your a freak, as if there is something wrong with you. Imagine people throwing their lunches at you or spitting on you as you walk across the courtyard at lunch. Imagine people taunting you with names that hurt you like a bullet. Now open your eyes. Gays go through this every day. We don't have to imagine. For us, its reality. I'm a bi who wishes she was straight because i'm sick of hiding, sick of the heartache and i'm tired of not knowing what will happen what friends i'll lose next what words i'll let slip and what questions i have to avoid answering. I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the gay teenager who cant tell his school who he really is, because he is afraid of what they will do to him I am the gay athlete who wants to use the locker room, but hears the ridicule of homosexuality just outside the door I am the gay friend that only has a few people who actually care, but hardly get to see I am the gay boy that wants to cry when he hears fag, gay, or homo in a way that makes me feel less humane I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had... I wish they could adopt me. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. I'm the girl who was scoffed at by her teacher when she confided in her she might have a crush on a girl. - RejectifiedTomato We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the girl who hides under lies just to feel that she belongs. I am the girl that lost her two best friends because they were gay as well. I am thehe girl that spent heart breaking nights holding her gay cousin until he cried himself to sleep. I am the girl who lost her best friend because she found out she had a crush on her. I am the kid whose own parents told her that she was going to hell. I am the girl who gets in trouble with her parents for wearing a rainbow colored belt and hanging a poster of Freddie Mercury on her wall. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me. - cranberrymelon I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the woman who died when the EMT's stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most... LOVE! I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them. I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson" Now you can think about all this. Maybe you'll change your mind, maybe you wont. Maybe you already support GLBT people. If you do YAY! Good for you! I give you a virtual hug and kiss. Mwuahugs!!!

We were once boys

Not too long ago, just a few years back I was meandering through life in the bud of my youth. I am 19 now, but I feel like I want to be when I was 15, or 16 when the raging hormones just flow inside me. No doubt all I need is to study, eat and shit but nevertheless in terms of real life development I have zilch. You see, I was born a geek from the sub species of social pariah affectionately known as Geekus Nerdimus. I was a geeky kid at school and my peers were of the same species as I am. I wanna go dip in the pool now, with full of beautiful people.

Contemporary art

I love contemporary art. I was searching for something and I ended up in ahpek.com. This particular one attracted my attention. Perhaps it is because I like swimming, and because I like red underwear, they look darn sexy on me, don't you think so? The next one that I like, it portrays me. I feel like the need of having someone hugging me right now. I am depressed, I feel like everything in the world is against me now. Would it be because of my arrogance, or would it be because of my ego. All I did was trying to make myself more invinsible. We are born unique, our experience is what mold and shapes us. Kher has inspired me, into these art. Although it is not more than what the blog title as it has suggested; Sexy Male Art from Malaysia, but it was good, darn good if you would agree with me. Check out Kher's website for more drawings that he have produced. He's good.

Letter to my father

Dad, I have been thinking long and wide about our relationship. I sometimes wanted to just budge in to your room and spill my hearts out on things. On how the blogsphere have been treating me, on how things have been working for me, on how bad of a son that I am, your only son. I wanted to open myself to you in hopes that you could understand what, exactly, I am doing and thinking. I haven't called to talk, and I decided not to talk about it when we were having dinner together with mummy's cooking. I can think of a few reasons, but frankly I do not know which is the real reason. I have not talk to you because I am afraid of losing you and mummy again. The last few years has been hard on me, but no time in my life it has been harder to me in the recent months when everything just come to me in such sudden moment. I don't want to endure that pain, the loneliness, the anger, and the emptiness of being somebody like me. I am afraid that you will turn your back on me. I think I haven been talking to you about this because I am afraid of sounding unsure about my life and my faith. It is very odd, because I can talk incessantly to perfect stranger about myself, my concerns about the future, and the hurts of my past. But when I wanted to sit down to talk with you, I freeze. Instead of a moderate intelligent, somewhat self assured 19 year old, I become a stumbling, bumbling, confused pre-teen who is in trouble with his parents again. I cannot explain myself because there is too much to say; I cannot defend myself because I can no longer speak on your terms. So I end up stuttering and, flustered, I become defensive and combative. I haven’t talked to you because I’m not sure I’m able to talk to you. I am also afraid of not having all the answers. You, it seems, have it all figured out. If you have any doubts, you've never reveal them to me. Your principles have been seamlessly woven together into a bullet-pointed, proof-texted devotional lesson, you allow me no room to wonder, to question or to doubt. This makes me feel as though I can't talk to you until I combat each point, each assumption, each conclusion, each text. Until I can match each principles of yours, word by word. I am not prepared to do that, so our conversations are between one who knows every answer and one who is struggling to figure out a few of the many possible answers to our common questions. You must give my mind room to breathe and process when we talk. I would like it to be okay with you that I’m struggling. You could tell me that everyone struggles, but you don’t. Instead, you tell me the answer (your answer), and get upset when I don’t unquestioningly accept it. I am, in short, afraid of you. My father. And, I’m afraid of me. Afraid of what I’ll say, and, frankly, afraid of where I’m going, since I go there largely alone (you will not accompany me, I trust). I would like to be able to lean on you, but I don’t think I can anymore. Earlier, I said I have too much to say to get it all out. What is it I want to tell you, though? That you’re wrong? That the things you’ve taught me are wrong? Sometimes, yes, that’s what I want to say. But it’s more than that. I can’t separate my faith from my Experience. Take the experiences I’ve had with my friends as an example. In the same way the things I read change me, my friends and college-mates change me. You are afraid of this, too. I know that. But it cannot be helped. When you and Mom told me I could not come home, when the stress of near graduate school, loss of family, and near loss of faith landed me in the streets, my friends were there for me. I was cared for, loved, and affirmed by those you believe are leading me astray. Perhaps they are; I don’t yet know. But I know that when I was at my lowest, they held me, stood by me, and gave me what you would not: affirmation. Another thing I know in my heart: I am gay. You will not accept this. You still believe I can be cured. You still believe that I’ve made a misguided lifestyle choice. You believe it impossible to be gay. I can live with the fact that you believe these things. I cannot, though, abide your absolute refusal to consider the possibility that I might have actually thought this all through, that I might actually deserve your respect, that I might actually be more than a petulant, misguided child. I cannot abide the fact that you never ask me how I’m doing, that you’ve never expressed concern that I might be hurting, and especially that you’ve never acknowledged that you might have caused me pain. You’ve never apologized for the comments you’ve made about gays and AIDS, you’ve never apologized for the things you said to me after I first said the words “I’m gay,” you’ve never acknowledged that you may have overreacted throughout that first year. I can’t tell you that, while I’ve figured some things out, I don’t have all the answers (I am, after all, only 19. I’m young and could sometimes use advice.). I don’t know where we go now. I don’t know how we come to terms with our differences. I don’t know how we rebuild our relationship after the last several years of pain. I hope we can. Maybe it will just take time. But until the time comes when we can be truly reconciled, what do we do? All my love, Your Only Son

The Forbidden Question

1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Thirteen with a Girl. 2. Worst thing done while drunk? I was laughing about something, and then I fell down from the chair knocking my head and continue laughing 3. Have you slept with any blogger contact? nope. 4. Have you ever cheated when you were in a relationship? yup. 5. How far how you gone to check if your partner is cheating you? befriend his "concubine" and have sex with him. 6. Mancrush, 1 local and 1 foreign celebrity? Local: Daniel Lee Foreign: Keanu Reeves 7. Last time you pleasured yourself? Two hours Ago. 8. How big is your wang (dick-size)? 5 inches, i think. 9. What's the 8th message on your inbox, and who sent it? My Adsense report 10. Kissed in public? Yup. 11. How many one-night stands did you have? Wait, Im counting.... 12. Craziest place you've done it with? Public Bus. 13. Have you slept with anyone famous? Yes. A few times. 14. Do you have a Sex tape out there? In YouTube? Or naked pictures? I think there are somewhere, I THINK. 15. Have you been in a threesome? Yes. 16. Tried illegal drugs. What drugs? Yes, coke. Only once and don't like it 17. How many (if you can still count them) have you slept with? Can't remember really. 18. Dude we all know you’re gay, so just admit it. Piolo Pascual. 19. Have you ever had an indecent proposal? Many times and counting... 20. The worst billboard in Kuala Lumpur. Ellen's Beauty Clinic. It never fails to make me laugh just seeing that billboard. lolz! 21. Funniest TV Commercial. Not that I can recall 22. When was the last time you watched or read a porn material? Yesterday. 23. What will be your pornstar name and what will be the title of your first porn movie? Cairo San Agustin (lolz! Thats my alter ego) 24. Worst TV show? Not found one yet 25. Spit or Swallow? Let me taste it first. (lolz!) 26. Longest time when you were "doing it" with someone? 6 hours STRAIGHT. 27. Shortest time? 30 seconds? 28. Last time you had sex with someone? July 10, 2007. 29. What's your favorite sex position? Doggie Style, yummy! 30. If you HAVE TO sleep with a blogger contact, who would that be? Any Volunteer? (lolz) Tagging: Kenny Sia Nick Chan Hobart

A kiss

I am not a good kisser; I can be at times, when the passion fires up and there is desires. I don't like that sloppy wet kiss, rather a dry and passionate one. What is a good kiss to you?

Bring the Brokeback Mount back

I found my Brokeback a while ago. It is not far from here but it was worth the travel. As the saying goes, it is not the destination that matters, it is the journey. It is going to be a long one, and I will be enjoying every bit of it. Come to the extreme, bareback is great. Especially with that the world is now suffering for the not so best things. It is like playing on a broken record and playing over and over again. It is easy to give up something that you love; so much that you will be listening over and over again, the sweet sound of Brokeback Mountain. The petals of a broken vase, my heart have been shattered by it. The lies and the fake smiles that you have when you are beside my bed. Before time, when it was in IRC, when it was the in thing back then, before all that MSN messenger crap, before Axcest.com and Fridae.com inflitrated the online cruising scene. I could not recall the fun that we had, this is because the only memorable moment was when we were into climax. For every other thing, there is AirAsia.

Missing my old boy friends

I do not know about you, but I tend to miss my ex boy friends whenever I am alone. Thinking back the days that we have been together, the joy and sometimes the bitter. There is this boy friend that I am very fond of, although I must admit that most of the time it is based on sex, and we do have sex quite often. We have not really been out watching movies or shopping like most boys would do, he is just as closet and he could be, and because of that, I broke up with him. Today, while at school, I send him a short message. He is still in cuddling in his bed when he reads my message. I told him how much I missed him and asked if he is free to come over to my place tonite. He said he will do something about it. Lets hope tonight is another full load of cum in his ass, yar?

Problems

I have been thinking, and confused. I love my job, I love my boy friend. Actually, both has got nothing in common, but both also tied together with each other. Fuck, I don't know how should I put this. I don't know how should I relate it. I have got a lot to blog about but I really do not know how to put my feelings into words. Well, it all started when I know my boy friend. I met him from Friendster. I then met up with him at his cousin's place. Took him to Genting that day, and then brought him home. Well, what happened next really changed me, perhaps my boy friend as well. I went to his birthday, of course as his boyfriend I would like to be beside him all the time, but I made a mistake, a pretty fatal one. You see, his family do not know that he is a homosexual, perhaps they had a hint but what I did just made them believe that my boy friend is one. During his birthday party, when he was spending time with his friends, I gave him a hug, in fact I think I hugged him almost most of the time. This is being seen by my boy friend's parents, which is bad. Towards his friends, my boy friend is open about him being a gay. We went out for quite some time already, and am still going out. He haven had his foreskin totally off his penile head, I forgot what's the term for that. I borrowed him the cyberskin butt that I have got last time, and bought him a tube of KY Jelly to complement with that. Well, it started like this. He went out with Midvalley with his god brother, something that I am not totally comfortable with, but as a relationship, I should have trust in him and should not control him too much. I should give him some personal space, to know some new people and this kinda things. Anyways, when he was out that faithful night, his parents went over his belongings. They found the cyberskin and the KY Jelly. That same day, I did not know that my boy friend was with his god brother. Since we had friend finder, I did a search on him and then he text me and told me that he is in Midvalley. I assumed that he was with his parents. It was something about going home himself that I realized that he was not with his parents. I was so short of cash that time, but I just had to go find him and send him back. Sent him back near his house, and he walked in. I do not want to drop him in front of his house in fear of his parents. When I was back, I got a phone call from his dad asking me if it was me that sent him back. His dad questioned me about why did I not drop him in front of the house, perhaps trying to create a conversation before telling me that his mother found the "toys". My boy friend lost his handfone once, his friend returned it to him. I don't care as long as the phone is not totally lost. Just a week or so, he lost the phone again, this time with no chance of getting it back because he lost it in a public place. I am pretty frustrated that day, because of some unforeseen events, I did not scold him. I know its not his fault or something, just some carelessness, and one should not be blamed for being careless. It has been quite some time since we see each other. Mainly because of the restrain that his parents put on him. Yesterday, my boy friend called me telling me that his mother broke his piggy bank that his friends got for him for his birthday, and that was for silly little things. Could not wake up on time for school. I mean what the fuck, don't we all overslept sometimes? My boy friend made something for me, keeping it a secret. It was a sweater. When he went home yesterday, he found a torn sweater, and the broken piggy bank is not even being cleared up. I somehow feel responsible for this, for everything, should I just leave my boy friend, or should I continue be with him? I can't fucking think!

Chow Kit Road

Thats it. I tell you. Nothing to do yesterday, drove around KL and my pessanger thought of dropping by a place in Chow Kit. We went around the place for a few times, saw some really nice chiqs there. Pretty and nice chiqs. Then this indian guy stopped us, telling us that he has got some really nice chiqs, for 50 bucks. We thought, why not. Lets try. Parked the car by the site of the road, went inside and take a look at the girls. Not really my type but my friend wants to try out. Okay then. 50 bucks for the girl and 10 for the room. I did not feel right then. I was there for a massage, but that massage really is not worth the money. She asked me to sit in the position that I supposed is to fuck her. Asked me to get myself hard. I thought she was supposed to give me a blowjob? Doesn't seem like it. From that time onwards it seems that we have been conned. I went out of the room, the guy that is guarding the door did not bother about me at first. Then someone yelled out on his walking, nothing I can reconise and I did not give a shit about it. He then asked me to move outside giving the excuse that there is a police raid. I went to the car, the first thing I noticed is that my drawer is open. I do not remember it being opened when I left the car. I then saw my coin box is empty, Then I know that the car has been broken into. My friend came out from the place telling me that he lost his phone. I told him not to go back to get the phone and leave the place. There are many people inside there that look like thugs. Who else would operate this kind of place if not thugs? He went ahead to get what he wants, at least the memory card of his phone. He went back in for quite some time. I was dead worried. I tried calling to his phone and it was still ringing. After a while it stopped indicating that the phone has been switched off. I waited a while more, and tried calling a few friends of us just in case something happen. He came back out, I was relieved that he is okay. It seems that there is a secret passage that the people use to access the clothing. The place where the prostitutes asked us to put. Perhaps a trap door. As for my car, they used something to restrict the sensors, so that it will not trigger the alarm system. I felt good luck that I did not bring my laptop out. Also that I have not lost much except for the things in my car. I would be dreaded if I have lost my 2 days old phone. The only difference is why I am not being targeted is because I did not choose to fuck the girl. No wonder she was talking all by herself. Sigh.

Ah Chung and his BF

I have met Ah Chung once, chatted with him both in IRC and on the phone. Once he asked me to meet up with him in Kepong, I said okay. He wanted me to fetch his new found boy friend as well. I thought it should be okay since his boy friend is staying near me. His boy friend is about 16 or 17 years old, no longer study and work as a VCD seller. Chung likes those who has the "ah beng" look, or some call it "lala jai" look. So I thought this boy friend of his must be really cute since I have met some really cute lala jais. One of the worst thing that he did is, giving me stupid road directions. I ended up in Bukit Jalil before being able to make a U-Turn. That aside, he could have just tell me the area name "correctly" and I could have just use another shorter route! My first impression when I looked at him, he's one of the worst kid that I have ever seen, with his hair dangling in front of his face, the way he dress, and the way he looked. I really regret promising Ah Chung to fetch him. On the way to Kepong, I used the Old Klang Road route. Because it was always after working hours, the road was jam packed with cars. I noticed that my car water temperature went up pretty high and I told him that I wanted the car to take a break. It all went well, we meet up with Chung, who eventually ended up at the wrong place. You see, there were 2 KFC in that area and he went to the smaller one. I sent them back after they had their dinner. On the way back, I jokingly touched Ah Chung's lap teasing him, while his boy friend was in the car. Before he got his boy friend, I was always flirting with him, wanted to suck him and things like that. That time, I thought his boy friend would not mind, because to me its just a normal touch. Chung did not talk to me ever since, until about 1 year after the incident. We meet up again at the same place, I told him that I am horny and I guess he was also horny and he wanted me to go over to his place. Though he do not have a place for sex, but we did it in the car anyways, at the railway station's car park. He sucked me for quite a bit, eventually I wanted to fuck him but he just decline me saying that he's tired and theres no place and things. I sucked him a while and decided that I want him to fuck me instead, I sat on it. Because the lack of lubrication, it did not went in all the way and it was quite painful, both of us call it a day. I managed to find out that he had broken up with his boy friend, and also know that he previously was in love with Kelvin from Ipoh, which I felt surprised. He even told me that, it was Kelvin's boy friend, Shinya that broke them up. At the same time, I also managed to find out that Kelvin also had been together with Melvin from Selayang, a cute boy that I really like hugging and sucking. ** Ah Beng, Asian Chinese, often Chinese educated with poor English understanding. Always appear with dyed hair with weird colors, often gold or neon. Some goes along with huge ear rings and nose rings.

Jenn

Met Jien on IRC one fine night on my crusade looking for sex online. I do not know why, but I just love having sex with total strangers, be it he is a cutie or not. I saw Jien's faceparty, thought that he is a little too old for me at first when he told me his age. Then again, his picture looked young and I thought why not give it a try. I kind of fall in love with him the moment I saw his picture actually. We chatted for a bit arranging the meet up point and then I make my way to Setapak where he stays. Waited for a while for him to show up and I guess the wait was worth it to meet such a cutie. We talked a lot during the trip home to Subang, I think it was the longest conversation I had with someone that I brought home. I stripped him first, he's got a almost the same size dick as mine, which I enjoy sucking it. Thought that his pubic hair is a little too much for my liking, but for him I guess it was okay. He sucked me quite a while too. I love the part where he was kissing me. There is one part where I asked him if he wants a fuck, he actually said okay. I was quite reluctant to fuck him at first because he was too cute. Another part of me wanted to penetrate him badly, confused confused. I got him from the back, it was a pretty easy in, he was quite loose but I think it was okay because we both are enjoying ourselves. He turned me over and sat on it, at a point where I am almost ejaculating and I push him over to another position. I shot my cum inside him. At a moment of time, when he was on top of me kissing me, I opened up my eyes and I thought I say Jason, the way Jien looked like in the dark, really mimic Jason. I really imagined myself making love with Jason, every inch of meat that I have penetrated. I am an asshole or what?

Kelvin and Shinya

Went to the night market to join Alan and his girl friend. There were a boy holding shih tzu puppy. I did not notice who is that boy as my view was blocked for a bit. To my disgust it was Shinya when I noticed another boy standing beside him was Kelvin. That kiddo that was holding the puppy, is Shinya Now, why do I hate Kelvin that much? I met Kelvin when he was about 17 or 18 years old. When he come to KL, he will come look for me, perhaps for sex, or just a company. We fucked a few times and he claimed that I was the first person to have fucked him. I don't like Kelvin at all, call me cruel but I treat him strictly as my sex partner, someone for me to fuck and someone that sucks me. I don't remember myself sucking him, but I did remember asking him to fuck me but it did not go well, I rejected him when he was almost in. One thing that I don't like about him is when he is over at my place. I would not mind if he would want to use the washroom to wash up, but does he need to go to the washroom naked? What if my parents came out from their room and see a naked boy with his dick sticking out of his body? I hinted him, it went better, he used a towel the next time he came over, but what's the use when the tower clearly shows a dick sticking out from it? Perhaps that is what he do when he is back home, definitely not fine to me. I like to force him to suck me. Often he just give it a lick, and that's it. I try anything to make my dick stuck inside his mouth, often shoving it in deep into his mouth. It was fun. I like it the most when I force myself to fuck him. Not that he did not agree about the fuck, but about the pain of it. I always fuck him as hard and as rough as I want, there is no love with him, just lust and pure lust only. After I am done, he would jack himself off. Lame. Ah Chung told me that he had couple with Kelvin before. I remember Kelvin said something about having a cute boy from Selayang when I asked him over for one day. A lot of bad things were being told to be about Ah Chung. I found out that Kelvin offer sex to people who are willing to fetch him around town. That never happened to me, I guess he must have been addicted to being fucked by me. Shinya on the other hand, had broken up Ah Chung and his lala boy friend. Though I do not like him that much, I did try approaching him, hopefully able to fuck him and then let news spread back to his boy friend, Kelvin. That would be fun.